I am writing this at 5 a.m. on the day before my first Father’s Day as a dad. My daughter is swaddled up, sleeping on my desk after her 4 a.m. bottle. It’s raining outside.

I am not a birthday guy. Never have been. Growing up, I always felt an odd sense of guilt on my birthdays. I didn’t like the spotlight. I didn’t want the attention. Our time on earth is limited, and a birthday marks another year gone. Even as a child I felt an overwhelming sense that we have so little time on earth and there’s so much to do. Birthdays are a reminder or our mortality. I’ve always been a bit skeptical of people who actually cared about or, worse yet, celebrated their birthdays.

And yet, I am proud to say it: I am so excited for Father’s Day tomorrow. Not for a gift or to play golf. No, but to actually be a father on Father’s Day. My dad once said that he felt, growing up, that he was born to be a father. He didn’t mean it in a boastful way. He saw fatherhood as a vocation, not a check-in-the-box. I felt and feel the same way.

So here’s to you, little girl. From now until forever, no matter how many or how few Father’s Days we get together, your dad loves you so much.

Here’s my Father’s Day blessing over you and prayer for me to guide you through life in both my words and deeds:

May you one day say I gave you strength, and may you have strength. Strength to be curious about the world. The strength to stand out from the crowd–to ask tough questions. Strength to take the tough, moral stand. Strength to be a strong mother like your mom. Strength to fight for the things you believe in.

May I build up your confidence, and may you be confident. May I know your boundaries and push you to grow. Challenge you and make you uncomfortable so that your abilities and sense of self flourish as you mature.

May I show you how to be humble despite your confidence, and may you be humble. I know, just by watching you over these last weeks, that you are a special girl. May I help you harness your gifts and talents by showing you that the good things about a person are best shared from a humble position of love. And may you understand that being humble but inefficient is not true humility at all.

May I show you how to enjoy nature, and may you enjoy the outdoors. May we spend time in the wilderness not just for the sake of being “on vacation” but rather to grow a skill set and strengthen our minds. May we not simply hunt and fish, but learn to appreciate the natural beauty all around us in the world. May I teach you to respect, but not fear, the outdoors.

May I exhibit to you ability to enjoy the toil of physical fitness, and may you take care of your body. Today, cheap, sugary food is available everywhere. Most Americans cannot withstand the temptation and trade their long-term health for a second’s worth of “bliss.” May you understand–and may I exhibit–that we have but one vessel to go through life with–our bodies. May we both take care of our bodies while understanding that perfection is unattainable. Striving for improvement and failing is beautiful on its own.

May I show you moderation, and may you be temperate. But as Oscar Wilde said, “everything in moderation, including moderation.” May we discern the season of life to push hard and obsess, and then let us fixate and overcome.

Everything in moderation, including moderation

May I show you self-reliance, and may you be resourceful. Whether it’s fixing a flat tire, writing a senior thesis, or cooking an omelette, may I provide you with the basic abilities to flourish in life of your own volition. And may you stand alone as a black walnut tree in a field, in concert with those around you but truly reliant on no one. May you understand too, that you will fall and need others to catch you. Let me be there to catch you, and let you be there to catch others.

May I show you how to trust in yourself when confronted with a challenge, and may you trust yourself when challenges come.

May I question conventional ideas, and may you question convention while maintaining a healthy respect for tradition. Steel sharpens steel, so let us shirk from no meaningful, positive discourse while always bearing Truth in mind.

May I show you how to be a child of God, and may you count yourself as one of His followers.

May I show you how to be a child of God, and may you count yourself as one of His followers

May I share with you the simple joy of reading, and may you enjoy opening a book–and your mind–to travel to new places, “meet” new people, and explore ideas.

May I exhibit creativeness, and may you be creative. May our creativeness be rooted in reality and pursuant to goodness, but may we remain creative.

May I show you what a good friend looks like, so that many many count you among their inner circle and enjoy the fruits of friendship. May you also have many to count among your confidantes.

May I exhibit true patriotism, so that you may love your country and its Constitution.

May I stand as pillar of strength against moral relativism in an age denigrating beauty and Truth. And may you recognize beauty and stand subservient to Truth.

May I treat my parents with respect. May I heed their guidance, live up to their expectations, and be with them physically and mentally when God comes calling for them to rejoin Him in Heaven just as your grandma did for your great-grandparents.

May I be a good husband. I cannot love you the best way possible without loving your mother. May I love and cherish her until the my last breath.

May I guide you to the right husband, and may you marry the right man.

May I show you leadership, that you may be a leader. May I lead you and our family well. May members of our family serve as leaders in our community. In our Church. In business and industry. May I show you that a good leader takes the first step, the leap of faith. May I also show you that good leaders are also good followers when the time is right. May I hold you to a high standard and live up to that standard myself.

And may I remember to enjoy life and be goofy, and may you have fun and enjoy life! May we dance crazy jigs to old country songs, skip school to sledding, and build snowmen that wear swimsuits in the winter.

May I love, that you may learn to love those around you.

Amen.

 

We didn’t expect you until after Father’s Day. Your aunt calls it our “Bonus Time.” You were not due to be born for more than three more weeks, so I thought our first Father’s Day together with you on the “outside” would be 2019. I guess that makes tomorrow my “Bonus Father’s Day.” And I wouldn’t have it any other way. What a blessing!

It’s raining hard outside right now, and it’s one of the most beautiful moments of my entire life because we are spending time together. Here’s hoping we have many decades on this earth to spend more time together. I can’t stop smiling: tomorrow we get to celebrate Father’s Day!